I'm Socially Awkward.

Scenario #1 - The Sidewalk Shuffle

You're walking down the street & another pedestrian is fast approaching from the opposite direction. They're in your direct path. When you're about four feet away from one another you step to move out of their way. They take a step in the same direction as they try to avoid you as well. You awkwardly try to avoid collision and take a step in the other direction now. They do too. The steps become slightly quicker as you both try to shuffle out of the other's path and then inevitably exchange an awkward smile or perhaps a "Sorry!" accompanied with a nervous giggle. Can anyone explain this? Why does this happen 96% of the time?

The sidewalk shuffle is an issue that needs to be addressed. Why doesn't everyone have an innate sense to step to the right? If everyone just stepped to the right there would be no problems.

Scenario #2 - Invisibility Cloak

Pick a public venue. Train/restaurant/shopping mall/bathroom... you name it, this can happen anywhere. For all intents and purposes, we'll pick a grocery store.

You're going about your business, rolling your cart (which, more likely than not, has at least one faulty wheel) through the most important aisle of all - cereal. Amid a very difficult decision between Reese's Puffs and Lucky Charms you look up, and to your surprise (and dismay), see someone you know. Do you have any desire whatsoever to converse with them? Nope. Not even a little bit. But do they want to talk to you? Did they already see you? Crap.

So, what do you do? Avoid eye contact. Lack of eye contact is, after all, similar to an invisibility cloak. If you look down you're pretty much not even there. It's like being in a 7th grade class when you don't know the answer to a question. You look around the room... at the clock, your shoes, ANYWHERE that isn't the teacher's eyes. Then maybe, just maybe, the teacher won't call on you.

Trying to avoid answering a question about The Battle of Gettysburg in 7th grade is similar to avoiding the "Oh my gosh! How ARE you!? I haven't seen you in AGES!!" conversation as an adult.

Too bad lack of eye contact is an extremely ineffective invisibility cloak.

For a good time, check out this link: http://www.balloonboygame.com/ ... Balloon Boy is right up there with Sarah Palin for me. No matter how many jokes/emails I get on the topic, I think it's funny each time.

Song of the day: Until You by Dave Barnes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tyz9eOvstiE

Clark 22.

The bus is breeding ground for interesting thoughts. People watching is my new favorite past time.

Let's paint a picture of the Clark 22.

To my right... a girl standing up, gripping onto a pole for balance and in turn leaving me blinded by the huge rock on her left hand while her right hand holds a blackberry to her ear as she giggles uncontrollably to whom I can only assume is her husband-to-be. On my left... a 20-something male with headphones shoved in his ear, fidgeting with his iPhone, downloading endless (and pointless) 'apps', all the while making it extremely evident by the pristine condition of his black, leather briefcase that he's not been a part of the 'real world' too long. Which leads me to the 50-something man who wishes he could smack the 20-something in the face. 50-something is sporting an old, tattered, camel colored briefcase that looks like it should be in an antique shop by now. He's reading the Wall Street Journal and thinking "I can't believe I've been riding this bus for 25 years".

Now, we can't forget the occasional crazy that graces our presence on the 22. Picture a grown male... in a pink blouse, brown purse, black shoes, and a blonde wig. He/she is talking to him/herself in what can only be described as gibberish. You'd think this would gather stares and judgements, however, the bus community seems to just accept it. Joe Shmoe will sit right down next to the loon and carry on with his day, no questions asked.

For many of us nine to fivers, a good portion of our day is spent with public transit randos. How often do you take a good look at the people around you? And by take a good look, I mean judge. Furthermore... when you're mid-judgment, do you ever think about how you're being judged as the creepy girl/guy who's staring people down and blatantly judging them?

Song of the day: All We Are by Matt Nathanson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXvMJ2UF4RM

Trial and Error.

I might come off as an organized, together person. I'm not. Not even a little.

There are generally piles of clothes on my floor... cups of water all over my room... a random shoe on the rug while its counterpart is surely in the living room or hallway... etc. However, one thing that even I don't understand about myself is how I manage to lose track of my glasses every night. Every. Single. Night.

What poses a further dilemma is that I take out my contacts before I bother to locate my glasses. Sometimes my brilliance astounds me. You'd think trial and error would kick in by 25...

Not so much.

Newest edition to my iTunes: Meet Me Halfway by Black Eyed Peas

Also, repeat count over a 24 hour period: 27

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRNQS5UCQQI

Caution: Hot

Seeing as this is the 4th consecutive day that I've burnt my tongue on my morning coffee, I felt it necessary to post this little blurb that I wrote a few months back.

Also, song of the day: Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Brf9BUC0xnw&feature=related

Enjoy, kids...

In the midst of a bad case of the Mondays on the train this morning, I found myself pondering the "Caution: HOT" message on my coffee cup and started to laugh. It was one of those moments when something clicks and you're not sure why something so strange has brought you a moment of clarity.

I bought my coffee with the expectation that it was going to be hot and fully aware that I should wait a few short minutes before I consumed my caffeine heaven, but what did I do? I drank the coffee. I burned my tongue. I do this often. In fact, nearly every time I buy coffee I sip it before it's sip-able. Why don't I just take the "Caution: HOT" reminder to heart and avoid a scalded tongue?

This seemingly insignificant experience made me realize that life is one giant cup of scalding hot coffee. In a world full of high expectations, constant communication and the overwhelming need to succeed paired with the constant fear of failure, it seems nearly impossible to take a step back and recognize the purpose in ones daily motions. There will always be people who take the "caution" signs to heart and those that will cross boundaries and risk getting burned. I find a strange comfort in the fact that I'm the latter.

Risk a burnt tongue. Be exceptional.

Welcome, Fall.

Ahhhh, fall.

A season full of trench coats, orange leaves, fleece, hot apple cider & women wearing scarves for decoration rather than to provide warmth.

This morning marked one of the first chilly mornings in Chicago. Transition seasons are a funny thing in this city. Nobody seems to know how the hell to dress. I, for one, don't find it that difficult. Is it difficult? Someone please tell me.

I stood next to a woman at the bus stop who was wearing a down coat with her hood up, arms crossed and shivering as if we were standing @ the bow of a boat on an Alaskan cruise. On the flip side, I sat behind a girl wearing a strapless dress and sandals... not to mention her giant "I look like a bug" sunglasses even though it was so cloudy out this morning that the sun may as well have not existed. Too judgemental? Whoops.

Moving on...

Song on repeat for my 30 minute bus ride: After Tonight by Justin Nozuka
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgGkJez6pcM

This probably wasn't worth writing an article over... but it's funny nonetheless:
http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=news/health&id=7021003

Prairie Chicken.

For the record, I wanted the URL for this blog to be prairiechicken.blogspot. Unfortunately, "this URL is already in use" ... really?

Anyways...

I've spent a good portion of 2009 wondering where the last 25 years of my life went. On September 11th this year, I expressed to my dad how strange it was that I could remember something from 8 years ago so vividly and that 8 years ago I wouldn't have been able to remember anything from 8 years ago. His wise words (via text message, mind you) in response to my thoughts thus became the inspiration for this blog:

"Welcome to the world of the aging. Life accelerates like a prairie chicken running from a brush fire."

I really have no idea how to blog, what to write, or if anyone will even care, but I'm hoping this will serve as a way to capture a portion of my life. I imagine that the nature of my posts will be random. However, if you know me, this shouldn't be too surprising.

I've been told to ensure that this blog isn't censored so "the whole world knows who these crazy lunatics are that you interact with on a daily basis." I'm certain that the previously quoted lunatic along with all you others reading this will be the source of many of my posts.

Happy reading.